Know About the Culturally Vibrant Tamil Wedding Customs and Rituals!

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Tamil Weddings are not just weddings; they are like an episode of Ramayana, a simple concept but with many episodes. Though most episodes are happy moments, some are very thrilling, too. You have got larger-than-life settings with so much thrill and excitement around a marriage. Tamil wedding rituals are full of science and joy that once you understand what they are meant to be, you will thank our ancestors for how thoughtful they are.

In ancient periods, Tamil wedding ceremonies were held at night. Elder people of the village will fix the date for the marriage, and on that auspicious day, both the bride and groom will gather near the temple tree and exchange garlands. The groom will tie the yellow thread ( Thirumangalyam ) onto the bride, and they will seek blessings from the elders. Later, the entire village will have a feast.

But things have changed a lot from the 15th century. It is said that Tamil marriage functions will take place over a week. The bride’s family will collect the paddy from the relatives and neighbours, remove the husks, and prepare the rice & other vegetables for the marriage. It will take place one month before the wedding. The bride and groom were supposed to see each other only during the marriage. So, there were a number of rituals and customs to ensure that the bride and groom understood each other before they started their new life. How thoughtful are our ancestors!!!!

Let us get back to the 21st century, where we still follow the age-old traditions but with a little twist. The entire one-week function has now been reduced to a three-day function.

Yet, they are loaded with happiness, love and joy as ever.

In Tamil weddings, even the coconut has a starring role! Yes, coconut, betel leaves, banana leaves, rice, turmeric, Kumkum, flowers, and nine grains ( Navathaniyam ) play an essential role in all the rituals and ceremonies.

The Wedding Planner ( a.k.a the entire family)

Forget hiring one wedding planner – why settle for one professional when you have highly involved 10 aunties and 15 uncles making decisions for you? In a Tamil wedding, everyone from a distant third cousin to the neighbour’s dog has an opinion on how things should go. There will be no simple guest list. According to recent surveys, it is estimated that the bride’s family will spend as much as 30 to 40 per cent of their lifetime earnings on a marriage. Wedding guest lists are more like a family-wide Excel sheet with colour-coded columns.

The wedding hall? That’s a debate that could last longer than the actual Tamil wedding. You will hear suggestions like?

– Chennai has the best wedding halls with A/C

– No, No, No, we can get a great discount if we do it in Trichy!

– But Coimbatore is where your great-grandparents got married!

No matter what you choose, you cannot get off your relatives.

Apart from the phone calls, let us not forget the WhatsApp Wedding groups, where regular small United Nations meetings are held with more coffee breaks and non-stop notifications.

The Wedding Ceremony: The Bride and Groom

The bride and groom have only one thing to do. That is to follow in the footsteps of their parents and relatives until the ceremony is over. As soon as the bride and groom say yes to the marriage, the wedding bell rings.

Nitchayathartham

Once the match is made, the marriage is confirmed with a function called Nitchayathartham ( Betrothal ). In this ceremony, the groom brings gold jewelry consisting of a ring, necklace and other ornaments for the bride. The range of jewellery will vary among each family, but the ring is permanent. The groom will put the ring on the bride’s finger and get blessings from both families.

In the Kongu region, it is called Uppu Koodai Maatruthal, where both the bride and groom family will carry a basket of crystal salt with each other and visit the nearby temple, seek blessings, and exchange their baskets. This tradition symbolizes that both families will work together and help in settling a new family. Sometimes, this ceremony is held just a day before or months before the big day.

Pre-Wedding Events

Tamil weddings are not just about one day of rituals – it is a multi-day festival with loads of excitement and a mini-workout regime. Pre-wedding events are like the trailers for the big day.

Panda Kaal Muhurtham

Panda Kaal Muhurtham is the first event in the pre-wedding. This is the first ritual of the marriage. This tradition will have a slight variation between families in Tamilnadu, but the basic procedure remains the same. The positioning of the panthakal in front of the house indicates to everyone that a function is taking place in the household. Panthakaal is one of the large four sticks used to hold the large covering of the house and accommodate the guests during the marriage.

A bamboo stick is used for this function. A small pit is made in front of the house, and navathaaniyam (nine grains) are added to the pit, and the newly cut bamboo stick is placed in the pit. Then, the stick is adorned with turmeric paste, and raw milk is poured over the stick. The stick is placed inside the pit by the elders of the family, along with the groom. A red cloth with some coins is tied at the top of the stick. Dhoopam and aarthi are performed for the same, and thus, the marriage officially commences.

This tradition is prevalent in the southern part of Tamilnadu and is the first ritual in marriage.

It is strongly believed that Bamboo and Banana tree will bring strong bonding and many children in the family.

To Keep the Budget Staying on the Track

I have never in my life gone scuba diving. However, what if I wanted to learn how to scuba dive? When I went to a diving store, I was asked right away how much money I had to spend on scuba gear. Since I’m not sure what equipment I would need or how much it would cost, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Budgets for weddings are precisely that. Why would most couples expect themselves to know how to budget for a wedding when they have never planned a celebration similar to a wedding? A professional wedding planner can assist you in determining the appropriate budget for each vendor and all the details once you’ve established your budget or a comfortable range.

Mulaipaaligai

Getting the blessings of the navagrahas through navadhaniyam is mulaipalikai. It is strongly believed that the family will prosper just as the interspersed navathaniyas grow in mulaipalikai. This tradition is nowadays lost in many marraiges.

Ponnurukkal

Thirumangalyam has been a symbol of love and bonding for years together. They are cherished and protected forever by the groom.

On an auspicious day, elders of both the family call the goldsmith to the bridegroom’s home. The goldsmith will receive the gold coin from the bridegroom and start the first process of making thirumangalyam.

Virunthu

Virunthu is a separate function held two days before both at bride’s and groom’s families. Close relatives of the bride and groom are invited to the house, and some rituals to purify the couple are performed. These rituals vary from one region to another, but most contain giving a holy bath to the bride and groom with turmeric water separately in their houses. Thaimama ( maternal uncle ) will perform some rituals like adorning the bride or groom with gold chains, rings and other jewellery as a form of blessing.

Tamil Wedding Customs and Rituals: The Big Day Events

Tamil marriages will happen either at a temple or in a large mandapam. The day before the marriage, both the bride and groom leave the house on an auspicious day and move to the mandapam. The groom reaches the venue, followed by the bride.

Thali Kattuthal

On the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are dressed in traditional attire and made to sit in the Mandapam facing east direction. During the muhurtham, the groom will tie the holy thread ( manjal kayiru ) on the bride’s neck, and everyone around them will bless the couple with the atchadai ( rice mixed with turmeric). The bridegroom will make three knots on the thread and place sandanam and Kumkum on the knot and the thirumangalyam.

Saptapadi

Saptapdi is taking seven steps circling the agni. The bride and groom vow to each other that they will be together for life amidst any situation and respect and love each other. Each step symbolizes a vow from living in harmony to taking care of each other.

Maalai Maatruthal

The most exciting and cherishable memory of any marriage is maalai maatruthal. In this ritual, the bride and groom will exchange their garlands three times, and both families will not make this happen as simple as possible. The groom will not allow the bride to garland him easily. The bride seeks the help of her brothers and garland the groom.

Reception

In most marriages, the big day is held at the temple and on the following day evening, the reception is held at a mandapam. Reception is either kept before or after the marriage based on convenience.

Grahapravesam

After the marriage, the bride enters the in-law house for the first time and this ritual is called as grahapravesam. In this ceremony, a big potful of rice is kept at the entrance and the bride is asked to flip it with her right leg gently and enter the house. This ritual ensures that the bride will hold the hosusehold responsibility and wellness of the family.

Following grahapravesam, other rituals like finding the ring from a pot of water, smashing appalam on each other’s heads, and other exciting ceremonies will occur. Post-marriage rituals are entirely different in all parts of Tamilnadu. Let us write a blog on these rituals alone.

Tamil wedding ceremonies bring two families or clans together. Though the rituals are overwhelming sometimes, they aim to enhance the relationship between the two families. Most memories are created to last forever. If you are not sure of the wedding style or wedding ceremony, then talk to professional wedding planners like us. We are one of the leading Tamil wedding industry experts with a great network of wedding vendors and economic wedding styles.